I was engaged to be married and I recently broke up with her. I was devastated. I went through a period of wallowing where my friends just let me sit and sulk. Feeling sorry for myself, I could bring down the room in an instant. After about three weeks of being “Donald Downer”, a girl I hardly knew said to me, “I always hated her, she was a bitch”. I was completely stunned not only by her honesty, but by her opinion. How dare someone talk about my girlfriend like that? Wait, she was no longer my girlfriend, so why was I so offended? It began to occur to me that like the dead, it is almost sacrilegious to talk about an old girlfriend like that.Long after the party had ended, what she said began to stick in my head. Did she really know Susan? Did she think she was a bitch because of what I was saying, or because she really knew who she was? I began my quest to find out who Susan was, and who I remembered she was. The more people I included in my research, the more I started to see that it wasn’t just this one isolated woman who was saying she was a bitch. She wasn’t saying it to make me feel better, or because she was hitting on me. She was saying Susan was a bitch because, well, she was. The more opinions I sought out, the more I received consensus that she was, in fact, a total bitch.
Do you really want ex girlfriend back?
There is always a difference between what a relationship was and what you remember it to be after the fact. When you are in love no one wants to tell you that you are in love with a horrible person. They can see that you love her and think that you must see something that you don’t. They possibly don’t say anything because they are afraid that you will get mad, or that the more they insist not to like her, the more you will defend her. For whatever reason, usually we never hear about what a bitch we are dating until we say goodbye. So, even if you are sitting there thinking about how much you love and miss her, is there any chance that she may not have been all that she was cracked up to be?If you lost her, there must have been a reason. If you didn’t do enough. Why? If you weren’t kind enough. Why? If you were too kind, why would that be? We all react in relationships one way or another because of the cues that we get from the other person. If she told you that you didn’t spend enough time with her and you continued not to, there was a method to your madness. Perhaps she just wasn’t that much fun to be around. Every relationship ends one way or another. You either end up making a stronger commitment and tying your life to someone or you end it. If you are in a position where you ended it, it didn’t happen in a vacuum. That isn’t to say that no relationship has been broken up for bad reasons, they just don’t break up without reason. Before you fight to get her back, stop to consider whether you really want her back, or you don’t like to lose. Anyone who has ever known a guy who is in love and getting married knows that when the right one comes along they won’t ever let her go.I can’t pretend to know what the situation was with your girlfriend, or to tell you what to do. I can, however, tell you from my experience that before you continue down this path of thinking you want ex girlfriend back in your life, you should stop and do some soul searching. Ask around to your guy friends for their honest opinion. Seek out people that you lost touch with while dating her to find out why they stopped coming around. Maybe you will find that that sweet young thing was really nothing more than the cloud of yuck that you didn’t even see over your head. We all like to remember things as being great, but if they were so great either she wouldn’t have dumped you, or you wouldn’t have pissed her off to want to dump you. She may have even been the sweetest girl in the entire world, but that doesn’t mean you were meant to be together. You treated her the way you did with purpose, consciously or subconsciously. Just don’t let guilt, time, or reverence cloud the true situation of your relationship. Take the time to really think about what you lost and if you want it back.