Does Having Sex Too Early Decrease Your Chances For Long Term Commitment?
If you are heading on a date with that hot guy of your dreams tonight, you may be wondering whether it is okay to sleep with him. Being either your first date, or even your second, you are wondering what type of a message that sends to him. I would love to tell you that it doesn’t matter how early on in the relationship you sleep with him, but I would be lying. It does matter when you give in and hop into bed with him. Why does it matter? I would love to tell you I understand why too, but I don’t. There are some theories that I have about why guys are more apt to have long term relationships with girls who make them wait.
Men and women were not created equal. They were made for different things for survival. Men were created to be the hunters and gatherers, and women were created to keep home things managed and safe. Men, because of the way that they are wired, are protective and territorial. That is just the way that they exist. If you have sex with them on the first or second date, they instantly wonder how many other guys have had sex with you. Because they like to have things that are only theirs and things that others envy, a girl that has gotten around is nothing to be prized in their frame of reference. A guy likes to think that they are the only ones who have had you intimately. If you have sex with them right up front, they have a hard time believing that many others haven’t been there before.Men also like to be conquerors. If they are able to have you on the first date, the thrill of the chase is over. They no longer feel like they have to work hard to conquer you. That means the game is over. Don’t get me wrong, guys don’t “think”this way consciously, that is just the instincts that take over. I am quite sure they would rather have sex with you over and over and not feel that way, but something takes over when you have sex with them too early. You somehow lose mystic and they lose interest.
If a guy has to wait
If you make a guy wait, they will be more apt to call you for a second or third date. It is only through going out more than once that you two really get a chance to get to know each other and form a true relationship. If you sleep with him too early, he won’t get a chance to get to know you. He will be too clouded by the sex you had. There are different types of love. The first type is desire. If you never get past the first type, you never get to the other type which involves respect. If you never get there when the passion starts to waver, there is nothing left, which means there is nothing to the relationship.It isn’t about playing hard to get as much as building up to a relationship before you share intimacy. It sounds like something your mother said, so sorry, but it is just the reality of a relationship. This time your mother may have actually known what she was talking about. The longer you wait, the more likely you are to build something that will lead to a long term relationship. The earlier you sleep with him the less likely he will continue to call.Guys see having sex with them in terms of the respect you have for yourself. By holding out and making them wait, they think there must be something really special about you that only they are privy to. If they are willing to put in the time, they know a reward is waiting. Once they get sex they are more likely to know and to like you. Don’t wait too long, though. Sometimes waiting too long, or playing too hard to get, can send a message that you just aren’t interested. There is a fine line to walk when you are holding out on not having sex. Guys will wait a while, but they are also prone to boredom. There needs to be a good mix between getting to know one another and feeling the closeness of intimacy. If you stop to listen to the cues shared between you two you will know when it is the right time to have sex. Although a general rule, there are also times when the advice I have just given is not the case. Making sure to guide your own relationship by the signals that are being sent,is important. Most importantly, don’t ever do something you aren’t comfortable with no matter what you think the outcome will be.