We become accustomed to things in our lives being the same from day to day. When something drastically changes, it forces us to readjust everything. There is nothing more disruptive to a life than a breakup. Suddenly the person that you are used to waking up to and going to be next to, are gone. Every night, every morning, and every moment in between, become a constant reminder of what you are missing. If you have been together for a while, not only are they gone, but you have probably lost a lot of the things that were both of yours.Making things worse is that you may not have wanted the breakup at all. There are many reasons why relationships end, but very rarely, do they breakup equally. Often times one is ready to move on while the other may not be as ready. Whatever side you are on, the one that is ready to move forward, or the one who isn’t, change is never easy. Finding the new normal in life is going to be a rough road. If you have friends, children, or family involved, that only makes it more complex. The best way to find a way to make life normal again is to take it day by day. Thinking about the way that life has to completely change all at once is overwhelming. If you can make a list of things that need to get done, and ways to combat the changes taking place, you can have your brain in order to deal better with what is coming your way. Try these strategies to find the way to get through a breakup easier and without so much chaos.
Settle things with your ex
There are many that hold out on settling things with their ex. Either they hold onto things that are in contention, or they won’t sign things that will put an end to it all. The reality is that you can’t make life go back the way that it was. All you can do is move forward. If you grasp to things that will keep you in the past you are going to stay stuck. The best thing to do is to settle what is yours and what is theirs, and separate it now. If you don’t give them their things, it isn’t going to change their mind and want them to stay. It will only reconfirm their beliefs that you aren’t the one for them. Give them the things that are important to them, and work on a solution to finding out who gets the things that are important to you both. Don’t drag things out. You won’t miss the back scratcher once you move on. The things that may seem important, usually aren’t.
Move or change things
When things are over, many people stay in the same house. Like a museum to what is lost, they change nothing. It is difficult to start a new life when you are living in the same surroundings. That just makes the day to day seem empty, or as if something is missing. If possible, move to a different home, or change things in your own. Coming home to the same environment with nothing different besides your ex missing, is nothing but a constant reminder of what you have lost.
Take memories and put them away
Don’t throw out the pictures of you two. There may come a time when you are ready to do that, but now is not the time.The object of putting away emotionally provoking items is to put away the continual reminders. If you throw things out, you are doing so out of revenge. If you put them away for a while, when you are ready to deal with what to do with them, you will be able to gain the closure that they can provide. Examining the remains of your memories with your ex will gain you perspective into what went wrong. It won’t be helpful for a while, so just put them out of sight and deal with it when you are in a better frame of mind.
Don’t fill the empty with noise
Often times we fill the emptiness with noise. Absolutely keep yourself busy, but not so busy that you are able to remain in denial. Dealing with your feelings is something that is necessary and may not be possible if you keep kicking the can down the road. Baby steps are important, but so too is not putting it all away to deal with later. If you don’t rehash what happened it will just stay stuck in time. Not thinking about things will insure that you learn nothing from the experience and will never find a way to find closure to the ending of the relationship.