Getting your girlfriend back is a difficult thing to do. If you broke up with her, she will be mad at you for doing so and this makes interacting with her and talking to her honestly and frankly difficult. If she broke up with you, she may have already made her mind up about you and nothing you say or do will do anything to change her mind. It’s a long road to get any ex back in your life but hopefully with a bit of luck and a lot of time and attention to the things that really matter in life you’ll be able to get them back in your arms.
What Are You Going To Do To Make Sure You Get Them Back?
The standard advice to get your ex back always starts with essentially ignoring them for a while. This allows both of you the time you need to get your head straight and start to untangle your emotions from your decisions and rash actions. When people are emotional, they react to the world rather than acting upon the world and this is a very key difference. Something I always tell people when they ask me about getting their lover back is to write down how they feel from day to day and write down anything else that is bothering them over and over. This way, when they get over whatever it is that is causing them anguish, they can use this to get back on the right track again sometime in the future.Devote your new found time to improving yourself so that when you are back with your girlfriend she will think you are a new person, worthy of her attention and time.There are a number of ways you can do this. Take a short course in meditation and mindfulness, join the gym and start writing, painting or something else creative. Creativity is the best way to mend your heart’s ailments as it helps you express how you are feeling in a way that is cathartic and releases any negative emotion that has built up over the course of the relationship.Whilst we do recommend that you don’t go out of your way to try to communicate with your ex whilst you are getting yourself back together, don’t actively avoid them. Quite often, your ex might call you and ask to get back together anyway!Whilst you might want to jump straight back in to getting together with your ex, you might actually want to give it a few weeks. Letting both of your head’s clear is important as you might only remember the good parts of the relationship, meaning you forget about the rubbish times over the course of the relationship and endanger the whole relationship again. If you don’t solve whatever the problem was in the relationship, you won’t be getting anywhere in the long run with your ex.Making sure that you both want to be together and are not just doing it because of inertia means that you need to take your time. Rushing isn’t ever a great plan, take it slow and see how things play out. You might think that you really want your ex back when really you just want to date. The feeling of loss is only there because of how your brain works, reacting to it is what your heart would do, not your brain. Getting her back means showing her a better version of the person you already are. If you have to change yourself to huge amounts, you are just pretending to be a chameleon, a shape shifter. This will cause cognitive dissonance and it is obvious when people are putting on behavior, rather than acting like that naturally.Your ex was attracted to you and might still be attracted to you, so changing too much might make you lose what you had to attract them in the first place. Gong back to the fun, open and enjoyable you is a surefire way to increase attractiveness and isn’t too difficult. Of course, once you have your ex back, the real work begins because you no longer have the benefit of the doubt if you said you will change and don’t. Make sure you really want your girlfriend back before you go through with all of this. If you are not sure, give it more time. Your girlfriend isn’t going to vanish or run away, but making a bad decision and getting back with them when you figure out you don’t really want to be with them will just cause more emotional suffering for everyone involved, which isn’t something you should be aiming to do. Good luck on getting your ex back, I hope you’ll be able to show her what she is missing.