Getting over a break up and getting in the frame of mind to see whether you want to try again with an ex is difficult. It is made even more difficult when you are made to make a decision about your relationship, like if they ask to see you before you are ready to talk to them.Often, when you are trying to clear your head and take an objective look at the relationship in full and work at making yourself and your future relationships better, your ex will call up and ask you if you want to meet. Whilst this is a great opportunity to get closure if they broke up with you, your ex may well be trying to get back with you. If you want this, it is a good idea to go to the meeting and talk to your ex openly and frankly about your relationship.The problem comes when you or your ex calls up and asks to see the other person before you are ready. Your brain will still be high on emotions and you’ll be looking to make everything better so you can avoid thinking about these kinds of things. Getting over your ex and getting in to the right frame of mind is difficult to do, but can be done quicker and more effectively by getting out and doing things.
Picking up new hobbies and getting out of the house and away from all the chocolate and sad films will help your body and brain get back in to the swing of things, making it easier to see what really went on in the relationship, without going overboard with introspection.If you already have a hobby that gets you out of the house, you should try to make more time to do it. If you are not a member of a gym or don’t do much physical activity, maybe you should try running or weightlifting. Both of these will increase your overall happiness and make you more confident. It’s scientifically proven that exercise releases many endorphins and can lift you out of your post breakup low moods. When you make yourself do things, your brain thinks over things unconsciously and leads you to solutions. This is why hobbies are a great thing to do. If your hobbies are more home based, like playing guitar or painting, you can take these hobbies outside too. You could try busking in the town centre or taking a canvas / easel to a landmark and painting it as this might garner you the respect and admiration of others in the town. Getting out in the fresh air can really straighten you out, especially if people compliment you on your work. This will improve your confidence and help you move on with your life.
If you don’t really have any hobbies, you could try shopping or spending time with your friends although I don’t personally recommend you do either of these too much. Shopping will only distract you for a little period of time and isn’t a fantastic way to express yourself, unless you then go on to do something artistic with the things you have bought. For example, many fashion bloggers go out shopping and then write about what they have bought and why it suits them, etc. Trying to write down your feelings translates them from loosely connected thoughts in to hard truths. Whilst writing things out like this can be a hard thing to do, it is always worth doing. Writing is very cathartic and can really help you with dealing with your emotions. Many people and authors have espoused the benefits of writing over the years. Your memory is an imperfect way to recall things and writing these feelings down now will allow you to deal with them in a more effective and constructive way in the future. It’s not difficult to write, just get a pen and some paper and let your mind flow on to the paper.
Once you have dealt with your emotions and feel ready to talk to your ex, give them a call or even better, send them a hand written letter. This will grab their attention and shows that you really care about them. Letters from real people are a rare occurrence in this day and age, with impersonal E-mail and texting replacing them. Writing them a letter shows you are taking effort to stay in touch and possibly get back with them.When you think rationally and still want to get back with your ex, try to tell them how you have changed and what you thought the problem(s) in the relationship were and you stand a much better chance of getting back together with your ex.