How to Get Your Ex-Lover Back: Advice On Your Predicament
You’ve lost your lover and you are at a loss of how on earth you might even start about getting them back in to your arms and your life. Whilst it is difficult and sometimes impossible to get your lover back, most of the time there’s at least a small chance of being able to get them back. Figuring out a way of getting them back is difficult when you are full of emotions and can’t quite think straight.Every other thought after a breakup will be a reflection of what happened through your relationship. Both good times and bad times will show up and this is the best place to start deciding how you are going to get your ex back in the first place.Take a pen and some paper/notebook and write down all the things that were good and bad on the relationship. You’ll feel sad writing out an analysis of your relationship but keep strong and finish the list. Getting them back revolves around how accurately you can find the problems in the old relationship so you can apply your problem solving skills to the areas they need to be used in.Humans are great at hiding how they truly feel from others because survival in the tribe was more important than a singular identity. Now we don’t live in such literal tribes anymore but people still act like they are. Your lover might not show any signs of wanting you back or might seem very cruel and cold to you, but this is all just a defense mechanism so that they appear solid and put together to those around them. Inside, the story might be different.Finding out what the problems in the relationship are allows you to then figure out solutions to the problems. Perhaps you and your lover never did many activities together or just stayed inside a lot. If both of you are annoyed by that, coming up with some ideas to do some interesting things rather than sit around and watch another movie will start to help get your ex back on your side and back in to your arms. If you can come up with a feasible and actionable way to sort out the problems in a relationship, your chances of getting your ex back have suddenly skyrocketed.Friends and family of your ex may well hold some of the secrets to getting back together with them. If you have a good relationship with your exes friends and families you might be able to ask them whether or not they can help you with finding out why the relationship went like it did and they might want to help you get back together with them because they thought he/she seemed happier and better when they were with you than without. Asking around can add another perspective to your own troubleshooting of the relationship.You’ll need a few weeks to get your life in order after the breakup and this gives you plenty of time to spend doing things you actually want to do rather than stuff you think you should be doing, to please others. Work on yourself, jump in to a gym and do some working out or even try and pick up a few new skills whilst your subconscious gets to the heart of the matters in the old relationship. In general, a month or two is about what most people need to figure out how to sort out how they want to attack their old relationship problems.Don’t contact your ex too much in this time, it will annoy and alienate you from them and will bring you no closer to getting back with them. Once you think you have a way of sorting out the problems in your old relationship try and meet up with your ex or send them a letter to show how you have moved on and you are extending them a hand to come with you. Don’t try to guilt them in to getting back together with you because that is not attractive and it is sort of cloak and dagger, a betrayal of trust.
If you do get to meet with your ex in person, it is going to be a difficult conversation that you’ll have, but make sure that you say what you want to say not what you think your ex wants to hear. Hopefully, your ex will agree with what you are saying and if they haven’t already started dating other people will agree to give you another chance. Now it gets to the real hard work!You can’t go wrong and ruin your second chance because after a second chance, you probably won’t be getting any more.