Leaving Someone At The Altar Is The Worst Type Of Breakup Scene You Can Cause
You said you promised each other a life together the moment you asked them to marry you, or the moment you said yes you would marry them. Why on Earth did you wait so long to tell them that it wasn’t right? There are so many different reasons why people put off saying “I don’t”until the very last minute. Telling someone the day of the wedding that you can’t go through with it is a horrible thing to do. About the only thing that is more horrible is saying “I do”when you really don’t. Either you are going to have to go through with it and risk the potential that it was wrong, or you are going to have to break it off and know that there is no way you will ever get them back. If you are wondering if you should go through with the wedding here are the questions you should ask yourself.
Are you better with or without them?
There are times when we love someone but they aren’t good for us. If the person you are supposed to marry is someone you love, but just doesn’t bring out the “good”in you, you may want to rethink getting married. Your lifelong partner should be someone that makes you a better person. Does your fiancé make you feel good about yourself, or make you always feel less than you should? If you aren’t feeling good about yourself with them now, just wait when the honeymoon period ends, you are going to fall apart. Making sure that you are better with them than you would be without them is important. Breaking up can be difficult, living a life with someone you aren’t happy with, can be the worst mistake you ever make.
What did you think the moment they purposed?
What was the first thing that popped into your head when they proposed? Was it love? Did you instantly think “I want to spend the rest of my living years being next to this person”or did you think “well why not”. There are times when couples decide to get married because it is the next “step”that is expected. If you married, or asked someone to marry you, because you thought it was what you were supposed to do, it isn’t right. Doing what is expected of you, doesn’t equal happiness. In the same instance, you are expected to really give your heart to the other person. If you aren’t ready to do that, you aren’t doing the right thing.
Do you want to sleep with them forever?
If you think that sex will last forever, it won’t. The magic of the first couple of years will wear off. Compound that with life responsibilities and kids, and there may not be any sex at all. If sex is all that you have you better be prepared to sleep with them for the rest of your life. By sleep, I mean go to sleep. Once the sex fades, and the demands of life cloud over it, do you have enough to still want to wake up to them every morning of your life and go to bed next to them? If the answer is yes, go through with the wedding.
Are you still marrying them because you said you would?
We all do things out of obligation. Maybe when you said yes, or what you asked them, you had different feelings for them. Sure you made a commitment to them, but if you committed to wanting to marry them and still don’t want to, that is not a commitment, that is a recipe for disaster. You will stay with them out of obligation only so long. If you aren’t happy, it will make them unhappy, and sooner or later you will have to move on. Don’t waste their time, or your own. Be honest with them before you say “I do”.
Will you love them no matter what they look like or what they do?
For better or worse, means for better or worse. They are not always going to be 25 and have an amazing body. Time is unkind to us. Over the years we aren’t as cute as we used to be. If you are more in love with the way they look than who they are, it is time to find someone else. You must be in love with them, all of them, no matter what they look like on the outside.
Are you afraid?
Are you going through with it because you are afraid not to, or are you going through with it because you are afraid that life will suck without them. Being afraid at the altar is normal. If you are afraid to say this isn’t what you want, it is time to call it off no matter how late it is.