How To Fix A Broken Relationship?
If you have noticed that the space between you at night time keeps getting bigger and bigger, you naturally know something is changing. There are all sorts of reasons why couples drift apart. Most of them revolve around either the difference in the two partners, or the stress that they have in their lives. Don’t throw it all away just yet. There are times when it is just a lull in the relationship that you can reverse. If you want for things to last, it is time to stop ignoring what is going on, and gain control over it. There are some things that you can do to try to fix your relationship and other things that you do that will insure you saying good bye. Sometimes, the things we think are helping, are causing the most harm.
Listening
Often times we get so set thinking that we know what is wrong, that we stop listening. If you feel like you keep trying and it isn’t working, you aren’t trying the things that work. Each person has their own specific needs. If you are trying to fix the relationship by assuming you know what the other person’s needs are, instead of asking, you will not be able to fix it. Making assumptions, or consistently trying things that aren’t working, can make things that much worse. Not only will you not make things better, you will begin to feel frustrated and taken advantage of. If you are thinking “I am trying so hard and he isn’t doing anything”then you are trying the wrong things. Don’t assume that he thinks the same way you do. We all know men and women are very different creatures.
Stop talking about the wrong
When a relationship is on a down slide, the negative dominates the conversation. If all you seem to ever talk about is what is wrong, that will be the focus of the relationship. If you want to foster the things that are right about the two of you, talk about those things and how to expand them. Positivity breeds positivity. If you can find the things that are going well and put them on display, you will both stop feeling like all is lost.
Realize that it may not be all about you
Guys are different from girls. If they have something on their minds they aren’t able to put it aside. If they are pulling away from you, it may not have anything to do with you at all. Women take the blame and responsibility for so much in a relationship. We not only feel responsible for the things we can do, we feel responsible for the things we can’t do anything about. We are fixers. If your significant other is just plain miserable all the way around, it may not have a thing to do with you. Guys aren’t going to come right out and talk about their problems. You have to learn to read between the lines. If he is having a hard time at work, or family problems, try to just take a back seat and let things cool down for a while. Inserting yourself into anything will only make him annoyed. Stop what you are doing and separate what the problem really is and how much you have to do with it.
Back off
There are many relationships that are defined by the pushers and the avoiders. If you keep trying to talk to him and he keeps avoiding you, you probably become more adamant. The more you push or chase, the more he runs. Try reversing roles. Wait for him to come to you. If he sees that you are there, but not trying to constantly get into his head, he is more likely to stop shutting it off from you. When you try to talk to guys who aren’t ready, they misread it as being pushy or picking at them. If they don’t want to talk right now, back off. Women make the mistake of thinking if they don’t fix it, he is going to walk away. The truth is, if he is inclined to walk, he is going to do so whether you get pushy or not. If you push him more than he is able to take, he will only leave sooner.
Be kind
Instead of trying the “in your face” method, try being understanding and kind. Sitting back and just saying you are there if they need something, can do a world of good, more than always being right in their business. Give them time to work through whatever they are going through and just be kind and patient. You can’t control everything. Sometimes you can’t control anything as frustrating as that may be.